Kick Your Own But

Many of us can remember days when we were – at least we thought we were – in great or at least good physical condition. I had lunch a while ago with my banker. A guy I’ve known for almost thirty years. He was explaining his “workout” routine to me which consisted of sporadically playing racquetball.

And, now his elbow hurts and his knees ache and sometimes his back hurts. And, he’s about 30 or 40 lbs. over his ideal weight.

I just listened until he said, “I know I need to get in better shape and I know what to do. I just gotta’ get off my butt and go do it!”

I said, “So, what’s the issue? Why can’t you get off your butt and get started?”

“Yeah, I don’t know.  I know I should but I don’t have much time and going to the gym is just too hard to do right now I guess and heck, my elbow and knee hurt so I don’t know how I could use the machines anyway,” he replied.

Roy’s problem is that he has a lofty, ill-defined goal – “get in shape” and has created a story in his head about what getting in shape means – go to the gym, use weight machines, takes a lot of time.

It’s our nature to defend ourselves against failure. And this is when the “buts” usually show up. In Roy’s case, he uses a “but” to explain why he’s unable to meet his goal of getting in shape.

“But, I don’t have time…”

Or it could be some of these –

“But, I don’t like gyms…”

“But, I don’t like to exercise…”

“But, I hurt too much…”

“But, I just don’t see any change…”

“But, I just can’t seem to stick with it….”

Time to kick some but.

Use Your BUT Differently

What if you change where you use the word BUT in the examples above?

I don’t like to exercise BUT…..

I hurt too much BUT…..

I just don’t see any change BUT…..

I just can’t seem to stick with it BUT….

Changing where you place the word BUT invites options or solutions. So, “I don’t like to exercise BUT I can walk a few minutes a day” gets you started thinking differently.

Define Your Goal

Not all goals need to be super defined but having smaller goals that connect to the larger one is really helpful. For Roy, he’ll need, at some point, to define what “getting in shape” means for him. Is it a body weight goal? A performance goal? A hobby goal? And he’ll want some smaller, clearer goals to shoot for along the way.

Crazy Small Changes

The key to change is largely behavioral. Set things up so you can do it, a small step – like crazy small – and lower the barriers to doing it. That works.

So, if you really want to change your health and use exercise as one of the ways to do it, and all of this is new to you, here’s an idea.

Walk. Just walk, once a week for three minutes.

Remember, I said crazy small change.

Now, before you tackle a three minute walk, jot down all the reasons you think you can’t do it. Stuff like you don’t have the right shoes or maybe it’s a time limit. Whatever. Then solve those problems before you start walking.

For example, put your shoes by the front door. Set an alarm to get up seven minutes earlier (you can surely handle seven minutes, right?) and then do it.

The act of completing the three minutes breaks the negative feedback that comes from the start and fail loop. Next week, three minutes again. That’s it. And the next, same thing.

After you’ve done three weeks of this, consider adding ONE more day.

Can you see how this goes?

You’re building a positive habit. Not much change yet in your health but that will come. You first need to load up your success bank.

To kick some but(s) and stay with it, you have to start WAY smaller than you probably imagine. And there’s plenty of psychology research to support this.

Sure, at some point, you’ll want to start tackling CORE Endurance, Strength, Balance & Flexibility and some of the other pillars of health and fitness. But first, just get off your but(s).

And to learn more about how to kick but, get the book, Get Off Your “But”: How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself by Sean Stepehenson.