When is Enough, Enough?

Simon: How do I know you won’t shoot me in my sleep?

Mal: I’ve had a good day (with a partial smile).

Simon: You had the Alliance on you, criminals and savages… half the people on this ship have been shot or wounded, including yourself, and you’re harboring known fugitives.

Mal: We’re still flying.

Simon: That’s not much.

Mal: It’s enough.

The above dialogue is from FireFly, a much admired though short run TV series.

Well, much admired by me anyway.

The exchange is about what’s enough for Malcolm, The Captain of the FireFly (spaceship), to keep going, to keep trying under dire circumstances.

It’s what we all bump into from time to time especially after an injury or surgery or just the aches and pains that sometimes show up in life.

What is it, at a minimum, you need to keep plugging away at some nagging ache or pain? What will keep you flying?

I’ve found that if I can get just a little bit of progress often enough to feel like something good is happening, that can be motivating. That’ll keep me working at it.

And the thing is, you control the definition of “enough”. It’s a mindset thing.

If you find yourself constantly frustrated, you’ve set the bar too high, You’ll have to recalibrate and find a new “enough”.

Not too many folks will set the bar low and end up bored after, for example, knee or hip surgery.

The rub is that sometimes people feel like they’re giving up or settling by adjusting the “enough” downward. It’s almost as if feeling frustrated means you’re making progress even if, objectively, you’re not. Like you can’t be content, not frustrated, and also make progress.

Been there and that’s not a place to live.

This “enough” determination is dynamic. You’ll have to change it from time to time which is why having some way to measure your status over time is important. If you don’t have that, if you’re going with just your memory or how you feel day to day, well, you’ll conclude that you’re not getting anywhere (even though you probably are)…most of the time.

But, at the far end of the scale, there’s working too hard, too long because you just can’t quit.

That’s me..or was me. I’m better at recognizing it but like most things in life that are “hot buttons”, you never really master it.

You just get better at identifying whatever it might be and adjusting your reaction.

Doesn’t have to be about an injury though. It can be anything.

For me, about four years ago, I lost the ability to play my horn. Something I loved to do, gave me a sense of purpose and an outlet for expression. The problem I developed is called “embouchure dystonia” and it affects quite a lot of brass instrument players. Most often, it’s a career ending kind of problem.

See, to get the lips to vibrate, you have to coordinate air flow, lip tension, tongue position, and facial muscle tension. When any one of those things is off, there goes your playing.

Why it happened isn’t all that important to my point. How I handled it though is important.

I did what I almost always do. I worked harder. I had a weak, uncoordinated set of muscles and instead of meeting my body where it was and being strategic about the rebuilding, I just practiced more.

Yep. Kind of like when your knee hurts while you run and your answer is to run more.

And I was SO frustrated yet I kept pressing.

Remember what I said earlier about how you can couple frustration with the idea of making progress?

For any of you who are pros or former students of mine, you know what happpened.

I got worse and worse and worse until I had really no choice but to quit. I could, quite literally, not play the instrument much at all.

God bless my wife Ellen for listening to what, I’m sure, sounded like a dying goose.

When you’re trying to rebuild some part of your body, going full tilt rarely works out. Same with trumpet playing.

But, as much as I know (which is a relative thing) about physical training, motor learning, physiology, I basically ignored all the principles because I was driven to play again. I HAD to play.

This isn’t much different from people who feel they must run, cycle, hike, play a sport, work on a physical hobby. Maybe you hurt but you run anyway.

How does that help again?

How do you know if you’re doing too much? Gone beyond enough and into the land of overload? If you pay attention to your emotions and your body, if you don’t feel at ease, peaceful with the decision, you’ve crossed the line.

We all have different reasons for working too hard and actually against our goals. But, we also can catch it and make a different choice.

For me, I quit playing the horn for quite a while. About a month ago, I started over but this time with a different mindset. Now, it’s about the process and not the outcome. I might get back to being in a band, playing in clubs (whenever they open again) or might not. But that’s not important. What is important is that I make a little progress day by day, week by week and enjoy what I’m doing.

Maybe this idea about when is enough, enough can help you or a friend. I hope so.

Thanks for reading.

If you like this article, why not share it with a friend? If you’re interested in coaching services, please contact my colleague Laurie Kertz Kelly for a free, 20-minute Strategy Session by, clicking here. To get my Secret Weapon to fight knee, hip & back pain and stiffness, subscribe for free today.

Doug Kelsey has been a physical therapist and human movement expert since 1981. He is formerly Associate Professor and Assistant Dean for Clinical Affairs at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center and the author of several books. He has conducted over 250 educational seminars for therapists, trainers, physicians, and the public and has presented lectures at national and international scientific and professional conferences. His professional CV is here.